This was meant to be a magical getaway, to try and kick start our failing marriage, but I swear even David Blaine couldn't do anything to make this holiday magical!
And then was this guy right at the front, big guy, to be honest I hadn't even remembered him getting on, but he was quiet though, thank the lord for small mercies and just sat and quietly read... I couldn't see much but a bald head from behind... But he was quiet... So this guy I liked.
I got up from my seat and carefully made my way to the front of the bus while it shook and rocked... I really shouldn't of had that second Burrito, I thought. The driver had been really friendly at first, asking us where we were from and shaking our hands with a big smile, but then we had stopped at that gas station to refuel and everything changed... To be honest they guy actually looked slimmer that when he first got on, but we were tired and I didn't like to say anything... So, passing the family and the bickering couple I neared the front, then, just as I passed the bald guy and got to the driver and with no warning the driver turned to me and growled "Get back into your seat... NOW!"
I stared into his eyes, this was not the driver we had had before... This guy was not friendly... This guy as not smiley... and this guy had far less teeth...
With a start I took the nearest seat to me, beside the bald guy... I gave a weak smile, I was shaken and a bit scared but that did not stop me from realising who this guy was... It was actor Michael Berryman!!!
But, what was your childhood like?
"My childhood? Well, some would say that I am still a child at heart. But to answer the query, I'll say this: I spent much of my youth just being a kid but had to see loads of doctors over the years. The exact diagnosis was my a mish-mash of health conditions. My brothers and sister are of normal health and we all got along, playing etc. like siblings do! "
What was Wes Cravens reaction when you first auditioned for him?
Nobody else seemed to want to get off... Must have been the scorpions... or the landscape...
Michael didn't get up either, he obviously didn't need a break, so I carried on with my questions.
because my old friend Red Skelton would say at the end of the Red Skelton Show: 'Good night and God Bless'. It was an homage to a talented soul."
Then out of the window in the far distance we saw the driver slowly walking back, but he wasn't alone... Three others were with him... New holidayers? Ah well, it seemed odd but, hell... I could easily get a few more questions in before they got to the bus.
So Kirk or Pickard then?
And is it really all wobbly sets?
So is there a role you would just love to play?
And you've met and worked with so many fabulous actors and actresses...
And do you have a favourite Hollywood story?
The second guy, shorter than the others, long greasy hair tied back in a scarf and deep scaring to his face turned to me and laughed, an evil, terrifying, gurgling laugh, doing nothing for my nerves... I smiled back, unable to think of what to do.
We rode in silence for quite a while, not quite comprehending what had just happened... But then just over the next hill we saw it... Like an oasis in the desert... Our hotel... With a swimming pool and palm trees...
Michael pulled up just outside the door and we got out, a beautiful young woman appeared with a tray of colourful drinks and a big smile... I looked at the empty bus, no screaming kids... No bickering love birds and no wife... I took my drink and asked one last question.
And finally, if the Hills have eyes family were still there in the desert… What do you think they’d be doing now?