It's all about the Murney... Murney... Murney... - an interview with Christopher Murney

My appointment was in room 605 at the Hotel Earle, a seedy old dive in an even seedier district of LA... It was a good place to meet, no one would question what we were doing... Or why... No, this place was just perfect...

I picked up the key from the desk clerk, a rat-faced little jerk who you wouldn't trust with your wallet - let alone the bag I was carrying - and made my way out of the lobby... Rat-boy called after me, "Hey, be careful up there bud" He shouted with a seedy, tooth filled grin "There was a fire up there a while back, charred walls, you don't wanna' touch."
Man, I didn't want to touch anything in this place let alone the walls...

I got to my floor, he wasn't wrong, the walls were burnt to a crisp, Jeeze, they looked like someone  had taken a blowtorch to them... What the hell happened here? The musky smell lingered on my tastebuds... I found myself hankering for one of Smoky Joes famous smoked b-b-q rack of ribs... Maybe I'd pop down there after I'd finished here... I always loved a big plate of meat after I'd finished a job, weird I know... But in my line of work you had to have a release... It's not exactly a picnic doing what I do, you know... 

A strange looking guy passed me in the hall, tall fella', glasses, a haircut that wouldn't look out of place in an ornamental garden... but he paid me no attention and looked harmless enough, so I let him pass without another thought... But the big lug at the end though, standing against the back window of the corridor? Now he did look like he could do some damage, cop? I thought, maybe? Best not get in his way then, I didn't need the attention. I felt my pocket, my piece was in there safe until it was needed.

603...604...605... I reached the room, mentally preparing myself for the task ahead I put the key in the lock... Should I knock? I thought, he was expecting me... I had a key... But was it rude to just walk in? I decided to do both, I gave a small rap with my knuckles to the door, took a deep breath and pushed... The room was a decent size, had a bed, a desk and a door to what I hoped was a bathroom - I was going to need that to clean up later - but the decor was old and way past it's best, the bed linen was there... but greying, with obvious stains and small holes burnt by cigarettes, dust filled the air like a smoggy day in Chicago. 

And there, sitting by the desk, confidently speaking into a microphone attached to a reel to reel recorder was the guy I was here to meet... 

"Testing one two… Testing one two… Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers…"

 This man was Christopher Murney.

Christopher Murney (born July 20th 1943) is an actor and vocal artist, born in Rhode island, his attention was drawn to a more academic path before discovering a passion for acting. He has appeared in a myriad of films and TV, including Kojak, Remember Wenn and of course The Coen bothers 'Barton Fink'.   

He turned to face me, smiling he reached out his hand for me to shake... A gentleman, I thought... This man was real smooth... He knew why I was here, he knew that it would not be pretty, But he still shook my hand... 

'So you wanna' do this now, in here?' I asked, hoping he might suggest hitting somewhere public first, a bar or maybe even Smoky Joes?... But no here was fine he said and produced a bottle and two shot glasses from the drawer... Brave guy... 

What's with the recorder? I asked, he told me he wanted to do an interview before, I was up for that, had a million questions to ask him, but also assured him that it was only putting off the inevitable... He understood, but I was suspicious, why was he was trying to make friends with me? Maybe he thought I would change my mind? But that was never going to happen, I had already been paid for this job, it was pennies from heaven and I had an other half with very expensive tastes to look after...  

I took a seat on the bed, placed my case on the floor beside me and lit a cigarette, hell it's was probably the best place to sit, if I dropped some hot ash, it would just be another hole and hell I was going to be making a hell of a hole in Murney's head in the not to distant future anyway, I didn't really need to worry about the laundry... I took a long draw, gladly accepted the glass he was offering me and to make him, and me, more comfortable I started by asking him about his family... I mean, I couldn't just go in and do the job on the guy without getting the skinny on him first...

"All three of my kids are in the business..."  He told me

Really? I replied Cool,

" Julia performed as Elphaba [Wicked] on Broadway very early on in the run. Since then she's done other Broadway shows and currently has her own album out "I'm Not Waiting".  My son has a series that Steven Spielberg is the exec on…

Wow… Nice!

... Called Public morals which is a period piece, set in 1967, ...  which really dates me, because now I can be referred to as a period piece!

And my youngest daughter is a producer …

My eldest who is playing Elphaba in Wicked went to school with some of the guys who produced the show and I used to work with the husband of the book writer, but that was years ago…. My 'Slapshot' [Universal 1977] days!"

OK, so now to bring out the big guns... Metaphorically speaking of course...

So tell me then...How did it all start for Christopher Murney?

"I grew up on the ocean and originally wanted to study oceanography.. But I just wasn't smart enough… But in order to do that - and probably still -today - you had to be proficient in chemical and biological [sciences] and I just couldn't cut it because I didn't want to study that hard, or for whatever reason, so I left that and went to study astronomy for a while… I went from one extreme to another! Then left that and went to the university of new Hampshire and studied for a bachelor of science and business... And then I was going out with a girl in school, she was in wardrobe and talked me into auditioning for the merchant of Venice.. I did...  and then after that I thought 'This is fun! I like this!' and I just kept doing it… and 55 years later here I am…"

So did you actually ever study acting?

"I did, I ended up getting a dual degree at the university of New Hampshire, but after I found the theatre I thought 'OK, I’ll get the bachelor of science', but didn't really care for it that much and got the bachelor of arts and theatre, then went on to get a master of fine arts at Pen state in acting and directing."

And did you do any ‘Joe’ jobs before breaking it in the biz?

"Fortunately once I left Pen state I was in a graduate theatre , so I taught theatre to people who had no interest in being in the theatre and tended bar... but that was because I was married then and had a child... so I was a bar tender but also in the theatre at the same time. I was the founding member of the actor’s guild of Louiville Kentucky (ATL) and never stopped… I’ve been fortunate, very fortunate."

And there was The Taking of Pelham 123 [United Artists 1974]

"My first film!"

I love that movie... So exciting! 

"For me it was just my first film, I was just terribly excited to have that! And I’ve been fortunate in doing some cult and iconic films... That film and 'Slapshot' which has become quite a cult film for sports aficionados... and an urban film called 'The Last Dragon' [Tristar 1985] which is kind of a send up of kung foo films…"

Jeeeze, I said chocking on my drink, I thought that was for real?!
"It’s a send up... you have characters like ‘Sho Nuff’ and ‘One Dum Goy’ … But it’s now been 35 years I think, … 30 years? I think it’s 30 years ago we did it... 85' maybe? But it became an urban hero film because it was fun... it was very funny... but it was gaudy... it was Motown... That was the genesis of it… So it’s a silly film."

I took out my note pad and noted it down, I spent a long time alone in my job, so movies were  a lot of the company I kept and a good recommendation was always worth checking out... Talking of movies I couldn't go on without talking about Barton Fink and the Coen Brothers...

"I really liked working with them..."

I'd heard that they both directed, but only Joel was credited, I wondered if this was really the case?

"Yes, they did, in essence... Although they were both working together on set.

They know exactly, going in what they want, so once they get it, if it’s early enough,

they’ll say 'So do you wanna’ try for something?' and you go, 'Ok, sure I’m
happy if you’re happy'

And you'd work with them again?
... And yes, I’d like to work with them again."

And what do you do for the audition for a Coen brothers film? Do you remember?

"You know I don’t... and I don’t think I went back [again], I think it was just once; I went in and they were not there, I just went on tape and then they hired me and that was that."

This sounded similar to my line of work, I rarely met who guy actually needed the job doing, only the poor mook who I was doing the job on... If you catch my drift?

So, I asked stubbing out my cigarette and drowning the last drop of my drink, what John [Goodman] and the others like?

"John [Goodman] was… is a great guy, I knew him from Broadway, he was great to work with and we shot that scene where I get my head blown off 3 or 4 times because it was the last shot of the day and because obviously they were firing up the hallway! And if they didn't get exactly what they wanted it was because they couldn't see it immediately... They didn't have the gift of instant replay, so they would go and look at the dailies and say, ok we didn't get it so we’ll go and do it again... and so we had to do it 3 or 4 more times. 
I had a great time doing it and I enjoyed it… I had a lot of fun."

And John Tutorro?

"John was great, I knew him from the city also, terrific guy and a friend. One of his children was actually born during the filming of Barton Fink as I recall. John was a very nice man… But everybody was on that shoot… Steve Buschemi started out on that…

Yes, what a fresh faced boy!
"Yes.. Yes, we all were!"


And did you go out and socialise with the guys? 

"Yes we did because John was from NY… I mean John Tutorro … I can’t remember where John Goodman was living? I think he was living in LA because he was probably doing Roseanne at the time? But we all stayed at the same hotel when we were filming there... I think John and I got together once or twice after that but now I haven’t seen him in 10 years or so… He’s directing now too."

Yeah, I'd heard that...

So I asked - aware of what I was about to do myself - Was it fun dying on film then?!

"Ha! Yes! Well yes, in that film and in some others, maybe not so much, but certainly that one was a lot of fun… because they go a little further… In case you haven’t noticed!

Oh yes…

The Coen brothers like to go a liiiiitle bit further than everybody else."

Yes, they certainly did... But thank god for that, or we wouldn't have the genius movies like Barton Fink to enjoy.

I got up to stretch my legs, grabbing the bottle and pouring myself a shot, I walked around the room... Leading me to my next question.

So the sets? Tell me about the sets? Were they all fake? 

"The literal hallway was a set; it was down in Culver city. We did some on location, some interiors, but the sets were built in a studio… One I think was in San Pedro, the burning scene, because they had to do that in a quite a large hallway – I mean they had to build the hallway in a large building, everything was contained .."

Well I suppose it had to be… I thought.

I quickly downed that last glass and, with a nod from Christopher poured another, hell I didn't know how generous he was going to be and I wasn't gonna' say no, I'm no mug you understand... I'm a professional. I took my drink and walked over to the window, the dirt made it hard to see, but you still just make out the punks and the lowlife on the street... Not a part of town I usually frequent, not the part of town I really wanted to stay too long in... The quicker I got this over and done with and was sitting in Joes eating ribs the better, but the guy was so damn interesting...  I continued with my questions.

So you were in films like 'Last exit to Brooklyn'... A classic... An iconic masterpiece... Do you ever stop and think 'Wow... That was me?'

"You know the ones… For instance ‘The last dragon’ is [memorable] because it has a following, and they do testimonials to them; They call me and I go to them and speak, or just meet with fans.

‘Slapshot’ is one that I do four or five golf conventions a year because it’s such an iconic film among sports fans, those are the ones I’m reminded of... The others I don’t think about until someone, like yourself, thank you very much, that mentions it and I go ‘oh yeah, that is right, that’s a great film’, so I don’t think about those, but I’m reminded about the others."

So Ok, If I was going to remind him of that what about reminding him of 'The Secret of my succe$s'[1987] and Michael.J.Fox?
"Michael Fox, yes. Wonderful man... Wonderful guy! People always ask me how was Michael fox and I say you know I haven’t worked with a pecker head yet! Pardon the expression! I’ve been very fortunate to work with some wonderful people who have been just… "

He seem to pause with appreciation for his fellow actors... This was a great guy... Could I really do what I came here for? 

"Michael was terrific to work with… we had a good time…
And Paul Newman! He was a joy – to beat up! He was a joy!"

Paul Newman... I forgot about Paul Newman...

"I really did enjoy working with Paul Newman. He became my sort of hero, I just loved his altruism. Its not the fact that he had and maintained a sense of fame, but its what he did with that fame, a rather exceptional human being."

Good Looking as well..?

"Well there was that too I understand."

So, what was it like when your wife met him? Did you ever dare introduce them? 

"She never did meet him – no. we filmed that in..."

He stopped for a second, mid sentence... I thought for a minute that he might have had a heart attack and I could avoid doing the job... But then as if nothing had happened he started talking again...

"Oh no! She did meet him once, at a party, a birthday party for a mutual friend, and he was ever the gentleman. He like his beer and had a good time, always the gentleman."

And you are too, I said helping myself to another drink...  

You did so much cool TV too... There was M*A*S*H, Miami Vice, the Equalizer!

"It’s funny, I don’t remember even shooting those, because when you’re doing episodic television, you’re not the lead and because you’re not a regular you just try to find your feet and get your character and run with what everyone else is very familiar with... The set... the crew... each other... You on the other hand, as a guest, are not... So you just try to find your focus and centre... Then it’s over and boom, it’s done! But if you are a regular in a series, then you have a chance to remember and reflect… or if you’re doing a feature for a period of time then again you have that."

And taking about being a regular, there's the show 'Rememeber Wenn'

"That was AMC’s first scripted show about a fictional radio station in Pittsburgh Pennsylvania in 1939 – [we did]40 I think over 4 years. There was a progression, it was about this struggling radio station and it was a sweet, sweet show... I really loved doing it, but we shot it one camera film and it was gruelling! We were shooting 14-16 hour days every day. 

And it was nominated for many awards.

"We had SAG nominations but the hierarchy at American Movie Classics changed hands, somebody went out and some else came in and that happened and they just dropped it. They didn’t even tie it up – it was quite a shame. There was a great uproar, but you know…"

what a bitch, I thought... So how did you find out?

"Well actually I had left, during my last season I said I couldn't do it any more because I needed to increase my income, they didn't have a lot of money then. I had done it for 3 or 4 years already and said 'OK, lets move on with this or do something with it'... The steam was going out of it by then, so I heard about it from someone else, who called and said they dropped the show. Like I said, it was brutal hours to do a single camera"

But why a single camera?

"They shot it on 16mm and blew it up so the looks would be consistent with that 40s looks, so there wasn’t a 35mm…"

Ok, that did make sense. 

And what about The Equaliser?!

Rudy Bagler was a character which was sort of a semi regular so I did get to... you know... go in and do an episode or 2 episodes and I’d leave... then I’d show up like a bad penny and do a couple more... So I do remember. It was great fun and it was in NY, before a lot of TV was being shot in NY, so it was terrible exciting for me."

And Kojak?!
Kojak came to NY for short period of time and the Kojak I did was all shot in Manhattan.

So what was Telly Salavas like?

"I remember one time he was having trouble with his line, so he taped them right over my head and I had gotten beaten up, I was in jail - I was a bad, bad guy - and he couldn’t remember his lines, he didn’t have time to study then he plastered them right over my head! As i'm lying unconscious on the floor, he's kind of squinting at them when he was doing his closeup – his lines taped to my bloody head. He was fine, he was…that’s one story I remember about Telly."

I lit another cigarette, with the smoke and all the dust the room was feeling more and more like London all the

time... I wondered had he spent much time in England?

"Well I have, I was over for 2 months when I filmed Phyllis Dixey. Phyllis Dixey was a stripper during WW2 – she was to Europe what Gypsy Rose Lee was to the States. She was married to a man by the name of Gent Jack Tracey and Lesley Ann Down played Phyliss, I played her husband Jack Tracey... Jackie Tong was in it and Michael Tuckner directed it and it was for Thames Television"

what did you think of England?
"I loved it, we filmed in London and we filmed and a lot of it in Blackpool because most of it was during the winter and instead of going to Hull or Somerset or different theatres that we normally would have done - they travelled all over England and in Europe - they went to Blackpool and filmed in the different theatres and little music halls in there. I loved it, I had a grand time, it was in the late 70s."

Time to get back to the real Christopher, I thought... I was beginning to like this guy and with what I had in store for him that's one thing I didn't want to do... I tried so hard not to get close to my clients, as I said I'm a professional. Maybe there was something in his past that would change my mind?

"Well I grew up in New England and lived there most of my life,  we lived in Kentucky, where we didn't have that much. I was there for 2½ years directing plays and doing plays."

So LA or NY?

"I’m an East coast person, I like NY, I like the ocean. They have the ocean out there too but I love the changes of seasons."

Will you always live on East coast now?

"Well at this stage of my life, I think it would be nice to go away for a couple of months to the Dominican Republic for instance, the beach, or St Croye or..we don’t know. I do a lot of voice work, narration, promos and characters and I have a studio in my house at the lake, so I can work with ISDN lines and work right at of there, anywhere in the world in real time, so I kind of like working... I cant imagine not working, it may come but hasn’t hit me yet." 

And another one... Film or theatre?

"I love the immediacy of doing theatre... I love the 1 on 1, the give and take... The problem

with theatre is a week can get wearing on you and I don’t miss that as much, I haven’t done any stage in 10 years. I don’t miss it yet, although I’ve never say never, but right now I like the freedom of doing what I'm doing... I'm doing an independent film in June and it's easy to do, independent films are great... First of all everyone has their act together, they know exactly what they need because their money is an issue, don’t waste time on messing around, work's very intense and I enjoy doing that. They’re young directors and writers and that’s fun... that is fun for me. 

[The] stage? I love the rehearsal process and I like opening night and about the first week and I go home [and think] boy here we go, then its hard work."

So far, and to my utter frustration, there was nuttin'... He was still as charming, and as likeable as ever and a real gas to boot... I finished my drink and checked my pocket, it was still there, ready to use...


So what would you have done if you had never met that girl and joined the theatre?

"I probably would have been in trouble. I don’t know the answer to that but fortunately that wasn't the case. I met that girl ended up working together."

Right, what about his wife and family? I'd been digging and digging, but this guy was clean as a whistle... There must be something... There must be..? 

"All the kudos really goes to her – she’s married to a legalised schizophrenic and that’s what an actor is... She just rolls with the punches and then eventually everything calms down, but she’s been the rock and that been almost 50 years."

Damn, even his wife loved him....

So, did your wife and kids come on set?

"They did join me in England when we did Phyllis Dixey towards the end – most of the time, no because the set can be so intense, often times because of time restraints she just never bothered... it wasn’t a good time for her, sit around and watch everybody work, she’d rather be doing something herself, which she did, she's been involved in an after school program for years in Manhattan, running about 400 kids in an actors school since 87'."

So even his wife was great... Damnit to hell... What about the kids? I wondered what they thought of their father and his job?

"They grew up with it because [they] saw me as they grew up, so to them it wasn’t odd at all. My oldest saw me on stage and grew up with that and it was not unusual for me to be on television, or to hear me on TV or radio or whatever, so it wasn't an odd thing for them. As a result, that’s why they figured they might as well go into the theatre too because what the hell, I was having a good time..."

And are you encouraging?

"No, nor did I discourage – there was no feeling, as you probably realise if you’re going to go into the theatre, its an vocation; you just have to have the drive and accept that you must have to do whatever because its going to sustain you... but more importantly, its going to feed you, that’s what it does. So I didn't discourage them because if it didn't work out, they would find a way into another venue. They would eventually find their way... like we all do"

A good dad too... was this guy for real?!

Right that was it, I couldn't take it anymore... I checked my watch, my glass had been empty for the last few minutes and that was too long, I was starting to get tense... Plus I was starting to like and respect this guy... But I had already spent the dough, so I had to do it ...  I instructed him to turn off the tape recorder... If I was going to do this at all, I was going to do it now and not on tape, what I was about to do was not exactly on the level... Hell it was darn right off the scale illegal and I didn't need the Feds catching a whiff of my activities...  I scanned the room for a good place, on the bed, yeah, that would be best... Christopher looked calm and collected, he didn't even look scared... I opened my bag and

took out a sheet of plastic and spread it on the bed... Christopher asked if it was all really necessary, but I didn't want to get blood everywhere I said... That's why I chose this place... It was dirty enough in the first place... No, a  clean job, quick tidy up and I was gone... Ready for ribs...

I instructed Christopher to lie on the bed and get prepared... I changed into a long coat... Hell I didn't want to get bloody on me either... That would look suspicious... Mind you I could always blame it on BBQ sauce...
But before I started I thought I'd better get in one more question

... It wasn't like he could talk after I'd finished now... Could he?

So, did you have a back up plan, you know, if acting hadn't panned out?

"No I didn’t – as a matter of fact, I remember years ago when I was doing Mack and Mabel on Broadway and they asked me that very question, they thought I would fall back on business management or hotel management and I said no, I don’t think I will, I don’t think I'm going to leave what I'm doing, there’s no reason for me to go into anything else. I'm fortunate enough that they keep asking me to work. He said “well why did you go on the stage to begin with?” and I remember saying to him “well its less crowded up there, so that’s the way I've looked at it all my life, its less crowded up there."

Right... Enough chat, I got my equipment out of my bag and set it out on the side... Time to get to work... I looked in the mirror, tied back my hair and checked my make up... I looked good, my dress was a little crumpled from sitting, but the creases would fall out easy, I slipped on my protective goggles and mask... I turned back to Christopher... 

'If I make it swift and quick it shouldn't hurt' I assured him 'Now put your head back and open your mouth'... 

I stood by the bed and leaned over him... Oh my god... This really couldn't have gone on much longer...  His assistant who had called me was right, this had to be sorted right away... I reached inside my pocket and pulled out my special tool and with one swift movement reached in a yanked out that infected molar... 

He screamed in pain, tears filling his eyes... I gave him an icepack for his jaw... Ha, I thought, that would teach him, I'm betting he would't forget to pay his health insurance again...........

R. LadyLand, DDS. Dentist to the Stars.

For more information go to:
His imdb, Website, Wikipedia page... or just Google!

All Grown Up - An interview with Michael Fishman

Still no answers to my ad... 'Wanted large house for large family and extended family, Illinois, Ladford area'... Not much to ask I thought.

I sipped my coffee and scoured the sales and lettings pages in the Tribune, but all I could find were 2 bedroom apartments and a dodgy looking 6 bedroom place that I swear was that hostel where all those kids died... sigh...  I just needed 4 bedrooms, a good sized outhouse and, in my dreams, a pool, was that too much to ask for?

Suddenly I felt a vibration in my pocket... what the hell?... Ah, it was just my phone, I didn't recognise the number and it was out of state, it couldn't possibly be one of the hundreds of real estate agents I had called, but you live in hope.

I answered with a confident 'Hello!' - you know, just in case - and asked how could I help and if it was to do with a house... And, oh my goodness it was! And not only that, but it sounded perfect! The family who had lived there had 4 kids... Like us... and an extended family of, what sounded like, eccentrics... Yep, that all sounded very familiar! It was in the perfect area and well within our budget, so what was the catch? There just had to be a catch, there always was... No heating? No bath tubs? No windows?!  
But it was still worth a gambit, so I took down the address, but as I was writing something came over me... Why was this guys voice so familiar? Why did this whole situation seem familiar? A home, a family, 4 kids, a mom and dad and a family of misfits and crazies? in Illinois? In Landford? Why did that all seem so familiar?

Should I ask for a name? Maybe that would give me a clue as to why these bells were ringing so hard in my head...

... And as soon as he told me the bells had stopped and a familiar tune started playing in my head a very, very familiar tune...

"If what doesn't kill us makes us stronger,

We're gonna last longer,

Like the Great Wall of China

Or that rabbit with the drum..."



And then it all made sense, the family, the address, the madness, his voice!... I was talking to Michael Fishman, the second youngest of the Connor clan from the monumentally successful 'Roseanne' show!

Wow, this was an opportunity not to be missed...  So, making small talk, I dashed to my car, fed the zipcode into my Sat-Nav, put Michael on speaker phone and started off... Man, I needed to see this house, not only did it sound perfect, but it was a famous landmark in it's own right! 

After I had safely pulled away, I started to ask him some questions... 

You were only 6 when you started on Roseanne, did you truly realise what you had gotten into?

"Being six when we started, I never could’ve imagined how amazing and life altering the experience would be."

And how did you get the job? How did you hear about it? 

"My sister Robyn had been auditioning for commercials, usually I went along with her.  It seemed fun to me so I asked if I could try doing it too."

So, what? You didn't have any experience?! 

"Truthfully, I was brand new.  Never taken an acting class, barely started auditioning."

Wow... You'd never know!
" signed with an agent but there was no work due to the Writer’s Strike of 1988.  The first audition for Roseanne came up and my parents didn’t want me to try out for Television or Movies.  (Nothing long term)  After seven auditions spanning about months I earned the role of D.J."

I hope your sister wasn't to jealous!

Now I hear that you were the second DJ? How did they tell you that you had got the part after all?

It wasn’t until after I was hired we discovered Carsey-Werner had already done the pilot episode."

 Oh...

"Roseanne was already picked up by ABC, and the decision to re-cast D.J. was already made long before I ever auditioned the first time.  All of this I learned later."

So, what did you have to do to audition? 

"It was a series of pages with about three or four lines usually.  Each time I went back for another round there were less kids in the running but more people in the casting room."

And your parents, did they encourage your drama ambitions? They weren't in the industry themselves, so how did it all start… so young?

"My sister had been approached by someone who introduced kids to agents.  She pushed to do commercials because even that young she wanted to earn money for college.  My parents both worked very normal jobs and no one in my family had any experience in the entertainment industry.  We were totally naïve."

Roseanne Barr and Tom Arnold are such dominating and larger than life figures, what did it feel like to meet and work with them?

"I initially met Roseanne during the audition process. We immediately hit it off. She and I had a very close relationship from the start. John on the other hand is a mountain of man. We first met after I'd been hired and we didn't quite know how to interact besides general pleasantries. John is very quiet if you don't know him. Once you do he's loyal, kind and strong. John and I really grew together. When he was training to play Babe Ruth he had to learn to do everything left handed. We spend hours playing catch, it solidified our bond."

Do you think they would really make good parents together? In 'real life'?

"Roseanne definitely took a maternal role in my life.  

But did you learn any parenting tips from Roseanne?! 
She remains a huge supporter and caring influence in my life.  I was lucky most of my adult co-workers embraced me."

Now it must have been fun on set but, being just a kid you get told of much?

"As a group we were pretty well behaved.  It’s a professional environment so while you can have fun, you know what’s expected."

But I bet it was fun!?

"The set was a fun, playful, wild place.  Unbelievably talented writers, producers and performers all got their big break on Roseanne.  Legendary performers came through, while a powerful creative vision was being forged.

Among my favourite memories are during mistakes, or goofy characters our cast would break off into to make each other laugh.  Great writers and comics pitching jokes, teasing each other or telling stories."

But were you babied? 

"I wouldn’t say I was babied.  My co-workers expected a lot out me.  From the beginning I took interest in everyone.  Wanted to know what they did, how they did it, what their beliefs were.  It became like having two hundred aunts and uncles each helping to shape me as a young man.  My female co-workers tried to make a gentleman, while the men tried to instil skills and values they respected.

           .... And how did you, and the others, handle puberty moods? 

I wasn’t moody on set that I know of.  I was profoundly happy on set."

'Turn left at the next junction and keep going straight for the next 10 blocks...' Instructed the Satnav, I turned as it said, looks like the house wasn't as far as I had thought. 

How did your parents... your real parents react to the show? Did they imagine for a second that they were signing you up to a series that would last so long?

"If my parents had any idea the show was a long term commitment they never would’ve let me do it.  
And were they on the set much?
My parents, grandfather or a nanny brought me each day.  They took turns as each shifted their full time work schedules to accommodate my busy show schedule."

Did your parents ever object to anything you were asked to do?

"No because when a difficult episode idea came up usually Roseanne and the producers would talk to my parents first, then to me to make sure I was comfortable."

Now you had soooo many amazing stars guesting on the show... when were you last star struck? 

"For the most part I was never usually star stuck with fellow actors.  I always had great respect for fellow performers.  My co-workers always tried to make me aware of beautiful history unfolding around me.

We had so many great guest stars. I could name drop for days. Red Buttons, Debbie Reynolds, Milton Berle, Shecky Green, Tony Curtis, Ed Asner, Cher, Bruce Willis, Bob Denver, Bob Hope…

A lot of up and coming greats who were unknowns: George Clooney, Leonardo DiCaprio, Tobey Maguire,  James Pickens Jr., Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Dan Floreck, Stephen Dorf, Zoe Perry, Frances Fisher, Brad Garrett, Ashley Johnson, Ellen, Bob Odenkirk, Chris Tucker, Chris Farley

The only time I remember being star struck at a fellow performer was in the early 90’s at the Golden Globes.  I introduced myself to Robin Williams...
Robin Williams?! Wow, What did you say?
... you don't really say much. Robin goes a mile a minute, you try to keep up and hear through all the laughter.

For me I was more awe struck by old baseball players."

Oh yes, George Clooney! What was he like? Did you ever believe he would be as massive as he is today?

"I think all the cast felt George was a star!  Some of the producers missed his talent.  He was cool, kind, and authentically him, meaning a loveable scamp who did good work, enjoying every minute.  
He used to call me, “The Fish MAN”

His varied career, humanitarian work, and ability to stay humble while driven are all hugely inspiring to me.  Remembering when he was a young guy chasing his dream keeps me motivated as I chart my course as an adult in the industry.  I’d like to emulate many of those traits.  We both love this business and feel lucky every day we work."

And now you're the star! How does that feel?

"Being recognized all the time definitely alters things, usually subtle things.  It was impossible to go anywhere anonymously most of my life.  In some ways that was good though because I knew I couldn’t get away with bad behaviour without embarrassing my co-workers, employers and family.  In my case not having anonymity likely made me more responsible."

And at the time how did your peers see you?

"It was a mixed reaction.  Some didn’t care, those usually were my friends.  Many tried to use it to criticise or tease me."  
Jealousy?
"At times there has been jealousy.  More than a few people tried to bully or starts fights but truthfully every kid gets teased or challenged growing up.  I loved what I did so much it was always worth it."

But surely it interfered with everyday life? I mean how did you do your school work? 

"I had just started local public school when the show started. My parents not knowing how it would turn out, and desperately wanting me to keep normalcy kept me in that same local school.  I’d take the work from class with me and do it with my studio teacher Lynn Raines.  Then on days and weeks we didn’t work I went back to public school all the way through high school."

But did you ever want to just be a "normal kid"?

"Growing up living a very public life comes with a lot of responsibility but I never wanted a different life.  To this day I love being on set! Collaborating, taking chances, making the editors life difficult by doing good work.  For me I chose this path and have loved my experiences."

And how does it feel to watch yourself now?

"It’s surreal to watch the show now.  It feels like home movies.  I’m transported back, remembering things that occurred behind the scenes. 

Mostly when I watch now, I’m studying my cast mates.  Easy today to be star stuck by the talent of John Goodman, Laurie Metcalf, Roseanne, Estelle Parsons, Shelley Winters, Martin Mull, Sara Gilbert, Johnny Galecki… on and on.

I watched masters work every day.  Not only were they my co-workers, they were my friends and family."  

'Make a U turn at the earliest convenience'  the Sat-Nav cried, oh dear, I must have missed my turn. I pulled up to the side of the road and paused the Sat-Nav, I think I better concentrate on one thing at a time and this conversation was definitely more important right now! I turned off the engine, put my feet on the dash and carried on with my questions.

During the 5th and 6th season, Becky changed...  she left for college and I know that it changes you... But this college seemed to change her for a totally different girl! Well actually the actors that played Becky changed from Alicia 'Lecy' Goranson to Sarah Chalke... What was it like when the change over happened? 

"When Lecy left for college it was sad, but we all wanted to support her decision.  They waited a year in case she changed her mind.  Finally they decided to recast the role.

How quickly did she fit in?

Sarah came in a bundle of positive energy.  That was a tough role to step into and she was tremendous." 

And can you say who you thought made the best sister?

"For me they’re both amazing, just in different unique ways.  You can’t pick between siblings."

Good answer... Very diplomatic...

Now, I heard the Roseanne had a crush on John Goodman… Did you notice anything?

"John Goodman is an energizing and engaging person.  I think the whole cast had an electricity that drew us all together."

How did Roseanne describe DJ to you? Or were you just yourself? Are you just DJ?

"We never really sat down and defined characters.  They grew from week to week.  D.J. clearly was an odd kid at times.  Like any actor glimpses of me shine through him but he and I were very different.

I was more of a rough and tumble, athletic sports enthusiast.  D.J. was more introverted and socially awkward.  I’m more of an optimist.  We have very different ways of showing emotion but I think D.J. and I share a very gentle open heart."

Did it feel like a real family after all that time? And after 9 years, it must have been such a strain to leave them all?

"Being my first job, spanning nine years the cast and crew definitely were a second family for me.  Six to fifteen are very formative years.  It was a lot like having two hundred extended family members all with very unique perspectives and views.  I was like a sponge soaking up everything I could from everyone.  When the show ended it was a very hard transition for me because I legitimately loved our cast and crew."

And when was the last time you go together with the cast?

"Roseanne, Sara Gilbert, Lecy Goranson and I were all on “The Talk” for Roseanne’s birthday in November.  I’ve talked to Goodman via email.  Laurie and I usually text. 

I’ve tried really hard to stay in contact with co-workers.  Actors can sometimes be nomadic moving from project to project but I believe it’s important to be accessible to people who are kind to us in life."

And I couldn't not ask... Why was corn shown or mentioned in almost every episode?!!! 

"Not sure if it really is every episode but I know they fight over Dan making dinner in the pilot and he picks up cream corn.  It just became a standard inside joke for us.  The chicken shirt was much the same way."

So, did you hang around with other celeb kids? 

"I always did a lot of charity events.  Groups like RADD, DARE, and UNICEF meant events, parties and traveling with other child actors."

Now, I thought... Onto something other than DJ… Well sort of...

Did you ever feel typecast as DJ? 

"Undoubtedly someone will call me D.J. when I’m old but I’ll never regret that.  As for being typecast it does weigh in others people’s minds.  Truthfully though, even if someone does hold it against me it’s my job to do exceptional work and overcome it."


So, would you do it all again?

"My beautiful experience playing D.J. helped shape who I am today.  I wouldn’t trade that experience for a little easier path now." 

When you appeared in Seinfeld, was that a very different experience?

"Seinfeld was a great experience but a much quieter set.  I was lucky enough to get to do a scene with James Spader who is tremendously talented.  In hindsight I’ve worked on two iconic sitcoms." 

On other projects, do any actors ever quiz you about your time on Roseanne?

"As actors we frequently talk shop.  I’m always humbled by how impactful Roseanne was in so many people’s lives. 

Working on Hitz with Reno Wilson and Andrew Dice Clay we talked about the show, and cast quite a bit.  Recently while shooting the film Undrafted many of my cast mates had questions.  It’s an honor to have been involved in a project that people are still so passionate about."

Now you have been lucky to have escaped the ‘Hollywood kid actors ruining their lives’ syndrome… How did you think you dodged this bullet?

"Life is about choices.  My parents and co-workers always strived to keep me from being a negative statistic.  There’s a lot of good child actors who’ve grown up to be productive adults.  We all make mistakes, being public with additional opportunities comes with greater responsibility."

What’s your favourite celeb story?

 "It’s hard to share stories, so many, and they all sound like bragging.

In the mid 90’s I was on the red carpet at the Gold Globes.  Somehow I ended upbehind John Travolta, and before Christian Slater.  They had just done Broken Arrow together.  We are walking the red carpet and Christian Slater and I started talking, joking as we take hundreds of still pictures.  We caught up to Travolta and Christian introduced me to John as Fish.  It remains a surreal cool moment.

We taped an episode of Roseanne with Milton Berle, who came up to me and said, “Saw you did a show in drag. If you can do that now you can do anything”.

My first time on the Tonight Show Johnny Carson suddenly couldn’t do the show.  The fill in host was Jay Leno.  As if that wasn’t humbling enough I was on before Jerry Seinfeld.

In 2003 I attended ABC’s 50^th Anniversary as they brought all the former personalities from ABC productions on stage (it took a while) I was one of the first people backstage.  Sitting mid stage with the curtains closed in a wheelchair was Muhammad Ali.  I immediately introduced myself.  We talked for fifteen minutes.  Then as celebrities joined us back stage they’d come up to meet the champ, say something and leave before he could get a response out.  His smartass remarks were brilliant."  

That was better than I had hoped for! Fabulous!

You're also a bit of a dare devil... I mean you even performed your own stunts in Walker, Texas ranger did you? 

"I was so excited to work with Chuck Norris.  After I was hired reading the script I was shocked I had a fight sequence with him.  I begged to get to do it myself.  How many people get to fight a legend like Chuck Norris?!
I know I wouldn't fancy squaring up to Ground Chuck!  Wasn’t that scary? I mean, there were knives!

When the scene came first take they said try to resist.  My adrenaline was off the charts.  We do the first take, I’m hand checking and resisting. Take ends, the stunt coordinator came up to me and said, “this time try to stab toward him and then just stay relaxed”. The next three takes Chuck Norris tied me in knots and threw me around like rag doll"

Actually you appear to be far less than lazy anyway! Coaching baseball and softball and working with underprivileged kids must be so rewarding? 

"I love to coach.  So many kind people took an interest in me in my life that didn’t have to.  I try to be a positive helpful force for others paying it forward."

And you managed a Korean Team?! Was that in Korea?

"Almost all my playing and all of my coaching has been here in the U.S."

I suppose the kids know you as Michael, rather than DJ, but what’s the reaction when you tell them who you are… From them - and their parents?!

"I’m surprised how many of the kids know the show.  It makes sense though because many of the parents are around my age and are sharing the show with their kids.

In the beginning it’s a fun quirky fact, but when you’re coaching it quickly becomes about how you treat them and what knowledge you have to share."

You also acted in A.I...

"It was an exciting set.  Spielberg adopted the film from Kubrick it was a huge film with more footage than two films.  Working with Jude Law and Adrian Grenier was awesome.

Again I admire Steven Spielberg so much.  I’d met him a few times over the years and he’s on everyone’s wish list.  Actually he’s one of those people in this business I’d just love to sit down with and learn from.  I’m so hungry for another opportunity with him partially because I don’t feel like I had an opportunity to reward him hiring me enough.

It must have been such fun working on Jay Leno's show? 

Jay Leno might be the best joke for joke comic in a club I’ve ever seen.  I wish I could have him mentor me in stand-up.  I’ve also known a number of crew members who’ve worked for him on his shows and I cannot say enough about the way he treated them.

And what was he like? Was he encouraging?

His work ethic is something I try to emulate.  Each time I was on the Tonight Show he really supported me and made sure I got credit.  He was very kind to me."

In 2005 you ranked # 52 of VH1's The Greatest (1998)"100 Greatest Kid Stars of all time". That must be a thrill to know?! Who do you think would make a good DJ if the series was made today? 

"If they were casting a new D.J. I’d hope they’d pick a new unknown.  I love when a dream gets his chance."

What is the best acting tip you have received? Or you can give? 

“Don’t judge your own work”, “Lead with your heart”, “An actor should never shrug anything off”

I checked my watch, Darn, I had to be at school to pick up the kids in 45 minutes... I decided, how ever much I was enjoying this, I really had to get on. Putting my feet back on the peddles, un-pausing the Sat-Nav and moving the stick into drive, I pulled off, but the questions didn't stop...

Would you encourage your kids to get into acting? What if it was you in your parents position?

"I’ve had a predominately positive experience acting.  If my kids wanted to try it I would whole heartedly support them.   I believe in chasing dreams, believing against the odds and hard work.  It is a job, it does come with challenges and responsibilities but if you are passionate about go for it and find out." 

And then only 2 minutes from where I'd stopped the Sat-Nav spoke again telling me to pull into the left and 'You have now reached your destination'... I've never wanted a journey to last longer in my life, ah well... But maybe I could squeeze another question out before I went to check out the house.

And what do you think you’d be doing now if you hadn’t been an actor? 

"I’d love to lie and say Major League Baseball Player but I wouldn’t have been that good.  Likely I’d be a veterinarian."


Good choice of vocation I thought, Michael seemed a very caring man so I could really see that happening... 

I turned off the engine and got out, there it was, the house... That yellow painted porch, the door, the garden, the shutters... It was unmistakable! I noticed the realtor standing out front, ooh maybe I could catch her, but as I made my way up the path, I just had time for one last question...

Finally, In the fall of 2008 Barr said, on what the Conners would be up to now, "I've always said now that if they were on TV, DJ would have been killed in Iraq and [the Conners] would have lost their house."… But what do you think D.J. and the others would be up to now?

"I actually wrote a script about where I think D.J. would be now.  Obviously I don’t own any of the rights so I cannot share it but when I started writing I felt it was a good practice with characters I knew well.

I love Roseanne’s idea that he joined the military. Obviously if he died in Iraq I wouldn’t have much of a character to play.  In my mind he’s a Dad with a few kids carrying over some of the lessons he learned from Roseanne and Dan to be middle class loving parent."

I waved to the realtor, unmistakable in her red jacket and saying a giant thank you to Michael before hanging up, requested to look inside property... 'Not that I really need to' I joked... 'I mean I watched that living-room every week for years after all!'

She smiled sweetly and opened the door... But what was this? This wasn't the Connors living-room?! This wasn't how I remember it! What? How...? Oh.... 

That was the moment when realisation set in and I suddenly understood why the interior of this house didn't seem right... Because the interior of this house was not real at all, but was actually just a TV set in the CBS studio centre, hundreds of miles away in California!!!... What an idiot! 

Ah well, I suppose it's back to the newspaper ads for me... 

For more info on Michael go to: his Wikipedia page, IMDB or his Facebook page.

Oh and in case you're wondering, the actual house is at 619 South Runnymeade Avenue, Evansville, Indiana, USA and I do not advise driving whilst on the phone - speaker, or otherwise.